“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”

“Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.”

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”

“Friendship is far more tragic than love. It lasts longer.”

“Education is an admirable thing. But it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.”

“Men marry because they are tired; women because they are curious. Both are disappointed.”

“Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.”

“When in doubt, tell the truth.”

“Oh, Diamond! Diamond! thou little knowest what mischief thou hast done!”

“I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.”

“Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.”

“Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.”